As I hinted in my year in review post I was not completely satisfied with the results of my “Year of Focus”. While I added a lot of positive activity into my life I was less succesful in blocking energy stealing bad habits from my life.

This applies both in my personal life and to a lesser degree also professionally. One of my strengths (I count it as a strength) has always been my eagerness to say “YES” and volunteer. But that of course comes with the obvious flipside – overcommitting and ending up committing to things that don’t really align with my values or that just drain my energy disproportionally to what that activity gives me.

My basic pattern is this: I am proposed something or I just end up in a place where I say “yes” to something that I have not properly weighed against my existing commitments, my values, or my current energy levels. I don’t voice my objections early enough and I end up with multiple low-intensity (or sometimes high-intensity) emotionally taxing tasks eating away my time and concentration. In the worst cases I snap at some point and react badly and in a way that may surpise the outside observer – after all I agreed to whatever was agreed.

NO!

I’ve decided to move with the theme “No” for this year. I will say no to things that don’t align with my values, drain too much energy or just annoy me.

I haven’t planned out what are all the ways I will tackle this but part of it will be very simple things that I will get rid of. Part of it will be working on my boundaries. I don’t want to lose my ability to engage new things and find new people. On the other hand, I believe there will be better things and more profound connections when I choose better how to guide my attention. I will follow up on my theme later on but how do I get started?

First batch of changes

I selected a list items for the shortlist of things to tackle:

Skritter

I have been using the app Skritter for learning Chinese vocabulary ever since October 2014! It has come time to say goodbye. I still recommend this app to someone building up their vocabulary or preparing for an official language test. But for me, it has become a chore. Its spaced repetition algorithm is very aggressive and I spend time reviewing words that I could use for reading or listening in spoken language. I’ve decided to drop this habit now that the yearly subscription runs out and replace that time with reading and listening. Those activities are much easier to fit into my day and easier to do while in commute or doing something else.

But look at my all time commitment to this app, there were two over 1000 day streaks in there:

Microsoft Office

This doesn’t really drain me and yearly financial cost is not that bad but I’ve decided that I will not continue to pay for MS Office subscription any more. If there will be a project I will actually need Excel, I will just run the subscription while it lasts but other that I will do my best to avoid all that.

Doomscrolling and being always available

I have removed the most time consuming social media from my phone and will continue to monitor the situation. I will keep on monitoring the situation and especially try to make my mornings free of unnecessary exposure to other people’s feelings and opinions. Additionally, I try to limit my bad habit of reacting to notifications. I will have more restrictive focus modes on my phones and try to only check occassionally what is going on.

Other things I’ve identified but with no firm plan

Additionaly things I try to tackle this year that I have no specific plans to address yet:

• Ads
• Random stuff floating around my table tops
• Maintaining stricter limits on my work availability

There will be more for sure.

Conclusion

I think part of this theme will be to more clearly articulate to myself:

• what I want
• what I my values
• what are my actual, actual values that I follow even when it is hard
• what are my personal boundaries

I will reflect and work on it myself but will also utilize the wonderful people in my life.

This theme could have also been called “intentional yes”, “clarity” or perhaps “energy protection” but I like the simplicity and clarity of simple “no”.

More on yearly themes

If you prefer text you can read Yearly Themes Instead of Resolutions introductory text on yearly themes or if you are of the video generation watch CGP Grey on yearly themes and resolution